Change: to make radically different. I believe that our character is truly tested when change occurs. It can be change for the bad or even change for the good. Whatever type of change it may be, our true colors come out and we discover who we truly are. Want to know what is in the depths of your heart? Make a drastic change and your soon to find out. For me, 2011 was a year of change. So many events happened in my life that change became my right hand man. This Mr.Change and I became quite the companions. As I have always vowed to be honest when writing, I will tell you that Mr. Change and I did not get along quite so well. I've always been the type of gal that was never afraid of change. Some people get uncomfortable just by changing the routine of their daily activities. However I loved change. My family and I have moved to several different places growing up and I was always the first to pack and unpack because I was so excited to move to a new place, meet new people and start a new adventure. While these circumstances should of caused me to be doubtful and scared, I looked change in the face and conquered it. 2011 however, it felt as if Mr.Change conquered me. We all deal with it differently and the outcome of our situations are all different. I'm not sure what was different this time but for whatever reason I felt myself being trampled by the many changes in my life. Not just personal changes but circumstances around me, people around me changed, and I can fairly say that I was disappointed in others but whatever the case was I was not conquering change. I do admit that I became disappointed in my self for not "keeping it together" and handling my situations. I was frustrated physically, emotionally and spiritually. I felt like I let those who cared about me down, but mostly I let myself down. I was reminded that sometimes the only thing that will cause YOU to change is change (if that makes sense). See, during this time, I have discovered myself again. MY TRUE SELF. Who I really am. What I really think. The intentions of my heart. I may have felt like I was loosing control of my life but in reality I was gaining back control again. I was putting my heart back on check. I was re-aligning my thoughts with God's thoughts and connecting my heart to God's heart. Change has brought change to my life. We're not going to have it together all the time but as long as we recognize the change that comes thru change. Have my circumstances changed? No. Actually, my circumstances have not changed one bit but I have chosen to let this experience change me for the better. I have decided to let change win in the sense that it will make me a better person. Am I defeated? No! I'm better for it. I have recognized what this change has revealed in me and I'm letting it change me. I have recognized that I won't be able to change certain things in life but I can let it change me. A lot of people blame their unhappiness on a number of things. "I can't get an education because I have to work", "I'm single because nobody is attracted to me", "I can't get a job because of the poor job market." The truth is that we can blame our lifestyle on a million things but only we can change our circumstances. No one or nothing has the power to take your happiness. If your not happy it's because you have chosen not to be happy. You have chosen to neglect yourself. Neglect is our worse enemy, especially as women. We tend to neglect so much in our life until it piles up and explodes (this also means physically). If you find yourself in a situation that has turned your world upside down; don't get frantic, let it change you. Let your situation win for once...stop fighting it and let it win.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." -author unknown
~Vanessa Katherine